I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize