I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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