So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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