He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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