Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
