is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
