wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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