Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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