Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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