I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
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