this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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