NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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