Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
