I wish I could teleport
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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