Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
