they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
