Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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