i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
