you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
