Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
