I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
