Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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