Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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