Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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