She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
