well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
