sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
pop tarts are not kleenex
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
