Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize