I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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