hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
