she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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