I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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