I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
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I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
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First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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