Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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