i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
