Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
