Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
