im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
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Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
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Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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