fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
