I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
