no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize