I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
