She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
