does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
