Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
