when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i just sent this text using only my big toe
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
