You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
