I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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