Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
