so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
