But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
