you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
