Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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