She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I need to calm my uterus...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize