fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
