just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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