Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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