Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize