Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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